January 2009
-sigh.
so my night was exuberantly heart-wrenching. found myself in yet another fight with my father about my sisters’ and my freedom. how i feel like a caged bird and such, i finally told him WHY we seem angry with them all the time. and as usual, he didn’t like it. he refuses to see what i desire just because i might get hurt by it.
when you get a flu shot, they actually inject some of the...
December 2008
choke.
sometimes i feel as if i’m dying inside. my over-used mouth comes to a sudden stop these days. my social-self is becoming more muffled and confined. i’m slowly evolving into an observer. and i’m not sure if i like it.
a heavy encumbrance has taken over my thoughts and keeps them preoccupied. i’m an overanalyzer. overanalyzing leads to worry. sometimes the worry leads to...
about me, from other people
And, hi! I’m Indy. I’m her Mo’fuckin’ brother haha. This girl got me for life, and I got her, too. Keepin’ that NiggaStatus on her. Don’t fuck with her, she’s a wild one. Just cause she’s single doesn’t mean you stand a chance. Just cause she’s young doesn’t mean she’s foolish. Although she has proven a few times that she is....
“there’s no need to run”
– Basil Valdez, “Lift Up Your Hands”
so my winter break pretty much sucks ass
when we were still in school i was PRAYING that winter break would be chill. that for once i’d be completely happy. care-free shit yafeel? but it’s not like that at all. my winter break’s been ass.
my aunt died, my cousin’s grandma died, my family fought the first two hours of christmas, i’ve been EXTREMELY tired, even with regular rest, my phone’s broken, one...
me singing: sexy can i, just pardon my manners girl how you shake it got a playa like
chon: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA!
me singing: TOUCH MY BODY PUT ME ON THE FLOOR WRESTLE ME AROUND PLAY WITH ME SOME MORE, TOUCH MY BODY THROW ME ON THE BED I JUST WANNA MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEVER DID, TOUCH MY BODY, LET ME WRAP MY THIGHS ALL AROUND YOUR WAIST JUST A LITTLE TASTE, TOUCH MY BODY KNOW YOU LOVE MY CURVES COME ON AND GIVE ME WHAT I DESERVEEEE.
chon: nothing. you deserve nothing kirstie.
“that’s what you get when you let your heart win.”
– paramore, “That’s What You Get”
Hurt.
not like, “damn, she hella hurt” more like, “my heart’s hurt, and i don’t really think anyone’s trying to fix it.”
ugh, some things were said today, and i’m not sure if i really wanted to hear it. i’m being adament. what am i really looking for anymore?
Merry Christmas
hope your guys’ are going well. =]
*cough, i love merry christmas phone calls.
i haven't updated this in a while.
yesterday, i was talking to bro. Vernon<3, and he’s very articulate. just talking to him makes you more articulate. he uses lots of big words sometimes and i’ll have to press pause and look up the word in the dictionary. but forreal. all of a sudden i made this metaphor on how words are like people. and it’s not fair to the canny, lengthy words we don’t use. like...
dearest shayla,
you are a joy =]. and haby girl i miss you too<3 for everyone else. GET LIKE SHAYLA! but i highly doubt you could =P
up in comp lit.
i’m hella effing bored, yo =P
today’s my cousin rose mae’s birfdayyy. SHE’S OLD SHE CAN BUY PORN NOW. hahah
hrmm other thoughts. i miss shaylala and indybobindy. and chontigger! anywhoo. this class is so boring >[
hrmm 21 more minutes til i can finna dip out this bitch[;
hit me up tonight on myspace?
wooooooooooooooooooordtoyourmother.
this is an issue the world must confront.
so my parents are watching America’s Most Wanted right? and i think, honestly, our world is pretty messed up. we need an hour program to showcase how corrupted our nations are. why do we commit crime? can someone please tell me? i really don’t get it. and why do people do drugs? get high, cuz it “feels good”? i keep going with my life just fine without doing drugs....
it's a saturdayy.
and i’m not doing anything so far >[
ughhhh my eyes kind of hurt though, i think im just going to take a nap because i have nothing to do. =]
uncertainty.
soooo most of you (if your close to me that is) have probably heard what i want to do with my life. either become a dentist, or be in P.ublic R.elations. but yeknow, there’s still those times, especially in a very young lady’s life, where she is still uncertain. i guess it’s part of growing up isn’t it? yeah, i’ve pretty much planned my entire life out already, with...
shayla really is...
something special. that girl mengz. she has that power to put a smile up on my face[;
12 more minutes.
this time does not pass by fast enough >[
i hate ms. depew though. she needa go get laid or something, she way uptight. like forreal.
anyways, i’mma ramble on some more.
so that bitch depew hecka just moved me for no damn reason. what a fuckin’ ass. olivia’s freakin awesome <—-she told me to put that.
so she hecka was like “exit out of your email” fuck...
this bitch meng.
ugh i fuckin’ hate ms. depew. >[
anyways. i kinda had a long night. other half<3 knows why =/ just a lot on my mind even when i’m trying not to think about it. it sucks though, don’t it? i’m trying so hard to convince myself that i don’t have to worry and think about this, but i can’t help but feel this way. i really don’t know what to say about...
emptiness.
for some reason today, i feel empty. almost all gloomy. i don’t know what it is. but i feel like, i’m alone.
i was staring at that blinking line after i wrote “alone” for a couple minutes. i REALLy don’t know what to say about this. is it just the overanalyzer in me? ughhhhhhhhh, i hate this feeling. let me be completely happy!
sleep.
i don’t think i’m getting enough sleep. i’m like HELLA tired sitting in my class right now. i’mma like fall asleep with my forehead on the letters T, Y, U, F, G, H, J, K, V, B, and N. i kind of had a long night though. spent time with the boyfriend, and was on the phone with chonTIGGER for like a couple hours. i was hella tired then though too. ask chon. he made sooo much...
std's and high school.
wow. so my school has the highest rate of infected students.
WOW.
really you guys. we’re not even adults yet. yeah, we’re growing up. but damn. if you’re makin your rounds and gettin’ diseases, ya’ll needa get smacked. that’s gross. keep yo pants zipped.
v-card that shit up[;
i.n.a.h.
cuz i’m scared. and to be honest, i’m not sure why. what am i to this world? for what reason do i have to serve? once again, a typical feeling in a teenage girl’s life. i’m still finding my place and what i’m made for. God’s mending me and re-making me into something better so i’ll discover what all this means.
“and i’ll be your crying shoulder.”
waiting down the minutes..
..until i can get out of this class and go home.
i’m pretty tired. my internal clock was set to “weekend with kuya raendy time” this morning. so i had to tell seanTIGGER to wake me up this morning, before i let myself press the snooze button a zillion times.
this class is super boring, i dont understand why i have it. i already understand all of the things we’ve been...
“Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’re a...”
– i forgot who said it.
“Girl, you’re a dime piece. Too bad no one carries change anymore.”
– (via jessicagail)